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Based on the Trailer – Jurassic World

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Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the theme park.

Jurassic World follows up the classic Jurassic Park with a new tale of pandemonium, this time in a fully functional theme park.  Is it the next step in this series’ evolution or one big pile of dino droppings?  Well, let’s take a look at the trailer and find out.

So who stars in this movie?  Chris Pratt of Guardians of the Galaxy is Owen the raptor trainer.  Bryce Dallas Howard of The Help is park CEO Claire.  And Ty Simpkins of Iron Man 3 is kid-in-peril Gray.  The director is Colin Trevorrow, whose only other feature film up to this point is Safety Not Guaranteed. I know nothing about that film, but it has a 90% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, so that bodes well for what he’ll bring to this new Jurassic film.

Jurassic World Cast

AUSTIN, TX - MARCH 10:  Director Colin Tervorrow attends the screening of

The trailer opens with Owen going all raptor-whisperer and saying, “It’s not about control; it’s a relationship.”  I sometimes take the velociraptors out for coffee and we chat about the grandkids.  He adds, “These animals are thinking, ‘I gotta eat, I gotta hunt, I gotta…'”  And then he punches the air repeatedly.  “You gotta be able to relate to at least one of those things,” he tells Claire.  Actually, she has been taking boxing classes lately.

Admit it.  She could totally take you.

Admit it. She could totally take you.

We get glimpses of Jurassic World, like some prehistoric jungle version of SeaWorld complete with dinosaur-viewing tunnels and a Shamu-like Mosasaurus show.  Claire informs us that new attractions are good for attendance, and so “Corporate thought genetic modification would up the ‘wow’ factor.”  And because corporate mandates are always wise assessments of individual circumstances, we can be sure this won’t backfire at all.  “They’re dinosaurs,” says Owen.  “Wow enough.”  You’d think resurrecting a species extinct since before recorded history would be impressive enough, wouldn’t you?

Just get Chris Pratt to be in your park, and you're guaranteed people will come see it.

Just get Chris Pratt to be in your park, and you’re guaranteed a spike in attendance.

Thus we are introduced to the Indominus Rex, bigger than a T-Rex, capable of scratching solid concrete, and cannibalistic.  Yes, she ate her own sister.  I’ve heard of sibling rivalry, but this takes the cake (or the sibling, in this case).  Apparently still hungry, she snacks on one of the park workers and chases Owen out of the cage, escaping herself.  Congratulations, you kept her locked up for all of, what, two minutes?  In fairness, though, that is a record for Jurassic Park movies.

“Peekaboo! I see you.”

As park guests panic, the Jurassic World SWAT team hunt down her tracking implant.  Which would have been great if she hadn’t remembered where it was and clawed it out.  This is why you should always use anesthesia during surgery.  Blood drips onto a trooper’s arm, and Indominus Rex goes back for seconds.  Based on the onscreen vital statistics in the control center, I’m guessing Indominus was looking for more than a pound of flesh.

Now might be a good time to break out the respect-whispering.

Now might be a good time to break out the respect-whispering that worked so well earlier.

Then she goes out and kills a herd of Apatosaurs for sport, leaving their bodies to rot.  Now see, if she’d only played Oregon Trail, she’d know not to kill more game than she could carry with her.  She turns her attention back to humans, attacking Gray and his brother on the Gyrosphere attraction in an obvious homage to the T-Rex jeep attack in Jurassic Park.  Which would be bad enough if the kids didn’t escape only to be batted around by Ankylosaurs who sure play a mean pinball.

“I think we racked up 10,000 points back there.”

We find out that Jurassic World is an even bigger safety hazard than the Titanic since they run out of boats with 20,000 people still in line.  And of course, they don’t have enough guns to take down Indominus Rex.  Maybe corporate should have thought of that before it mandated a GMO killing machine.

“I’ve discovered the creature’s one weakness: her dental plan.”

“If we do this,” says Owen, “we do this my way.”  Given that thousands of people will die if you don’t hunt this thing down, I’m thinking we’re doing it your way.  And your way is pretty sweet, riding motorcycles with velociraptors, shooting at Indominus from helicopters and firing rocket launchers at it.  Even with all that, things still go haywire as their helicopter crashes into the Aviary, releasing pteranodons onto the park.  Murphy’s Law is hitting these people hard.

Any disaster is worth it for this scene.

Any disaster is worth it for this scene.

Indominus Rex starts talking to the other dinosaurs and organizing them to attack the park like some sort of queen bee/Alpha Dragon/Dino-godfather.  She goes after Owen and the kids in the gift shop (either that or she just wanted to catch some late night bargains) while the raptors snatch people out of an ambulance.  If I should ever need to be rushed to the emergency room, I’d prefer my trip to come without the option of velociraptor attack.  And the trailer ends as the pteranodons give free rides to patrons and Mososaurus snacks on one of the flying reptiles.  Discovery Channel ain’t got nothing on this.

He's just giving the pteranodon a hug.  With his teeth.

He’s just giving the pteranodon a hug. With his teeth.

So based on the trailer, do I recommend the movie?  Yes, yes I do.  It’s got great talent behind it, an intriguing premise, and beautiful visuals.  Best of all, it looks to be a worthy follow-up to Jurassic Park.  My plan is to check it out in theaters, and I hope you’ll do the same.

After all, it’s a great movie.  Spared no expense.

Jurassic World is owned by Universal Studios.

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