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Based on the Trailer – Spectre

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If everything that’s ever gone wrong in your life can be tied back to one sinister shadow organization with plans of world domination and destroying you personally, you might be in the wrong line of work.

Spectre brings Bond’s biggest enemy back to the screen.  Will it leave you shaken and stirred or is it a bigger bomb than the exploding pen?  Well, let’s take a look at the trailer and find out.

So who stars in this film?  Daniel Craig returns for his fourth time in the role of James Bond, with Ben Whishaw returning as Q and Ralph Fiennes taking on the mantle of M.  Monica Bellucci of The Passion of the Christ and Léa Seydoux of Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol join the ranks of Bond girls as Lucia and Madeleine Swann respectively.  And Christoph Waltz of Epic portrays the villainous Oberhauser.

The director is Sam Mendes of American Beauty, Road to Perdition, and Skyfall.  He’s proven he’s a capable director with a few big name films under his belt, and he’s already left his mark on the Bond franchise, so I’m interested to see what he’s got in mind this time around.

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FILE - In this June 25, 2013 file photo, director Sam Mendes arrives for the opening night of the musical

The trailer begins with a Day of the Dead parade in Mexico City, and M tells Bond he “had no authority.  None.”  No, but he did have an awesome skull mask and tuxedo, and I had no idea we needed James Bond taking down bad guys dressed as Mr. Death, but now I know, and we do.  Bond claims he was only “taking some overdue holiday,” which apparently means shooting at windows and making them explode.  I know the stunts aren’t always that realistic in Bond films, but they do know how bullets work, right?

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“I’m Death. I do what I want.”

Miss Moneypenny tells Bond that everyone at the office says he’s finished, but she thinks he’s just getting started.  For a man who’s supposedly finished, they’re quick to give him a new car.  According to Q, the new Bondmobile can go zero to sixty in 3.2 seconds and has a few more surprises, like being able to defy gravity and drive up walls.  Bond says he wants one more thing: “Make me disappear.”  We already did the invisible car, James.  It didn’t go over well with audiences, remember?

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“We’ve also doubled the size of your cup holders for extra-large drinks.”

Bond goes to a snowy cabin in the mountains which must get great Wi-Fi signal, judging by the computer setup.  He shows a ghost octopus ring to the chess-playing guy who lives at the cabin and asks where he can find the owner.  “He’s everywhere,” the man tells him.  So the ring belongs to God?  Bond heads to the city and meets up with Lucia, who tells him, “If you go there, you’re crossing over into a place where there is no mercy.”  From the way he’s unzipping her dress, I’m not sure whether she’s talking about Ghostopus’s evil lair or Bond’s obviously non-platonic plans for the evening.  Or maybe it has something to do with the random thug who slams a guy’s head into a desk and breaks another man’s neck.  No wonder Bond thinks Chess Player is protecting someone.

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“Take that hand any lower and you’ll lose it, Mr. Bond.”

That someone is Madeleine Swann, who yells at Bond to get away from her.  Obviously, she’s heard about the horrible way he treats women.  Unfortunately, with men shooting at them and a plane chasing them, she’ll need his protection.  As Bond says, “I’m your best chance of staying alive.”  That’s one chance; the other is if the plane’s pilot is dumb enough to fly too low and break its wings off on the trees.  I call him stupid, but I have to be impressed that he’s still able to chase our heroes in a ground pursuit.

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“It’s not that I trust you; I just know where I keep the pepper spray.”

Evil people gather in a board room, the Ghostopus symbol shows up on a glitchy computer screen, and Madeleine reveals that it belongs to an organization named Spectre.  No big surprise there; we knew that from the title of the movie.  What is surprising is that everyone involved in the organization is somehow tied to Bond, James Bond.  And then we hear from our villain, who tells Bond, “You came across me so many times, yet you never saw me.”  I doubt they did this, but if Christoph Waltz was in the background of every Daniel Craig Bond movie, I’ll be very impressed.  “What took you so long?” Oberhauser asks, and then he looks up at Bond, revealing his face.  Bad move, trailer.  I know IMDb lists Christoph Waltz in the movie, so he’s got to be the bad guy, but at least keep him in the shadows until the movie.  What’s left for the payoff now?

the-awesome-new-trailer-for-spectre-finally-gives-us-our-first-good-look-at-the-next-bond-villain

“That time everyone forgot your birthday? That was me.”

Bond jumps out a window and runs from Thug Guy in his Bondmobile, and he and Madeleine meet up in fancy white evening wear.  “Is this really what you want?” she asks as people shoot and are shot at, including Bond and Lucia.  “Living in the shadows?  Hunting?  Being hunted?  Always alone?”  Bond sets his atomic batteries to power and his turbines to speed and fries the car behind him with his jets as he replies, “I don’t stop to think about it.”  Let’s face it, if Bond stopped to think about half the things he did for a living, he’d have checked himself into a mental institution years ago.

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He’s been denying reality for so long, he’s even starting to defy gravity.

A helicopter does a barrel roll, Bond goes to church, and Oberhauser tells him, “It was me, James.  The author of all your pain.”  The bad guy is Ian Fleming?  There’s more shooting, more chasing, and more breaking kneecaps, and a brief glimpse of . . . Jim Moriarty from Sherlock?  Now I really want him to be the mastermind behind Spectre.  People fight while hanging out of that dangerous helicopter, Bond and Madeleine kiss, and Q gives a worried look over his shoulder, probably because he also knows how Bond treats women.  And the trailer ends with more guns going off, with one random bullet going right through the title screen.

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“Wasn’t me. I was too busy flying this broken helicopter.”

So based on the trailer, do I recommend the movie?  Yes, yes I do.  It’s got great actors, great action, a stunning visual style, and it brings back the classic villainous organization that started it all.  What’s not to like?  I don’t know if I’ll get around to it in theaters, but I’ll definitely be checking it out on DVD.

Although really, when you’re facing a Spectre, you should be calling Ghostbusters.  But that’s just my opinion.

Spectre is owned by MGM Studios.

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