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Crown Jewels: Past Reviews

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After months of silence, The Nerd King has finally returned from an unplanned hiatus.  Sorry about dropping out like that, but after two years of posting every week, I needed to take a breather. Fortunately, the break gave me some time for retrospection, looking back on the good times and the best things to come out of this blog. Now, in honor of my three-year anniversary, I’d like to take some time to share my favorite moments with you. Here are the Crown Jewels of my past reviews and posts!

10. Star Trek Into Darkness


Otherwise known as the time I spent a whole review geeking out about Benedict Cumberbatch and spelling his name wrong. The experience was both freeing and retroactively mortifying, but it’s since been corrected, and my inner fanboy can rejoice without my inner perfectionist beating him up about calling one of my favorite actors “Cumberpatch.”

9. The Lone Ranger


I like to make fun of movie trailers both good and bad on this site, but sometimes it’s rewarding to really rip into a movie. My first real shot at that was The Lone Ranger, otherwise known as “JOHNNY DEPP AS TONTO?!!!” Throw in a gun in a hollow leg and rocks for currency and you have a fun ride. Not the movie, the review.

8. Getaway


I’ll always remember this trailer for all the monotonous action and the many questions it raised. It bored me, shattered my suspension of disbelief, and drove home (no pun intended) the fact that August is a horrible month for movies. So why is it among my favorites? Because not only was it memorably bad, it taught me how humor and satire can make even the worst entertainment enjoyable and fun.

7. Jupiter Ascending


While we’re on the subject of ripping movies apart, Jupiter Ascending left its mark on me by making no effort to leave a mark on me. From Mila Kunis and her complete lack of investment to Eddie Redmayne whispering unintelligibly, every moment was both visually and comically beautiful.

6. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles


This one stands out for two reasons in particular. First, it gave me the chance to vent about my hatred–okay, vague dislike–of Megan Fox (to be fair to her, I’m still recovering from the emotional scars of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, so I’m a bit biased). Second, it gave me an excuse to bust a move to Turtle Dubstep. When you can dance in your review, it’s a good day.

5. Guardians of the Galaxy


Not only did Guardians have the best run of trailers I’ve seen in my time as Nerd King, but it also gave me the opportunity to deviate from my normal pattern and take a deeper look at what made their advertising work so well. After all, how often do I get to be super-analytical (aside from my entire Overanalysis section)?

4. After Earth


I’ll never forget how weird this trailer was or how messed up its ideas about evolution were. I’ll say it again, animals don’t evolve for the express purpose of killing humans. But I’m so glad the film exists because it gave me the concept of killer okapi, something I’ll always treasure with childish glee.

3. The Identical


Sure, I like making fun of films (I’m a horrible person like that) but every so often I treat one well, and it pays off. Like the time one of the stars of The Song liked my tweet about that trailer review. Or, more memorably, the time Blake Rayne shared my review of The Identical on Facebook and my views went through the roof.  It’s the most celebrity recognition I’ve ever gotten, and it’s a feeling I’ll never forget.

2. Hollywood Role Models & More Hollywood Role Models


Okay, so these are Crown Jewels lists and not trailer reviews, but it was too much fun shining the light on people in Hollywood worthy of respect for me not to share it here. Besides, in my follow-up list, I got to collaborate with fellow author and fangirl Charity Tinnin, which made the experience even better.

1. Frozen


There’s no doubt that my favorite work is the result of collaboration. Cohost Jennifer McDonald brought a new flavor to this review, and help from Olivia Schmall and Jenna Varnadore made the climax to my storyline (back when I did storylines) both cinematic and epic. Easily the most fun I’ve had creating content for The Nerd King.

Which reviews stuck out the most to you? Or if you’re new to the blog, what do you think of what you’ve seen so far? Is there anything you’d like to see more of from me? Let me know in the comments below, and look for more from me coming soon!



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