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Based on the Trailer – Jason Bourne

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I can’t wait to watch this movie and learn fifteen new ways to kill a human being with household items.

Jason Bourne pits everyone’s favorite amnesiac asset against yet another unethical government organization. Is it the best at what it does or should it be disavowed? Well, let’s take a look at the trailer and find out.

So who stars in this movie? Matt Damon returns to the title role, and Julia Stiles returns as Nicky Parsons. Newcomers include Tommy Lee Jones of Men in Black as CIA Director Dewey, Alicia Vikander of The Man from U.N.C.L.E. as Heather Lee, and Vincent Cassel of Black Swan as a covert Asset.

The director is Paul Greengrass, returning to the franchise from Supremacy and Ultimatum, as well as a few films based on true stories like Captain Phillips and United 93. He’s done good work, especially in this franchise, balancing action and character development, so he should be able to pull it off again here.

PicMonkey Collage

930353 - Captain Phillips

The trailer opens with Jason Bourne laying in bed, because that’s the kind of action we’ve come to expect from the Bourne franchise. “I know who I am,” he says, and we get a flashback of the highlights of the last few movies. “I remember everything,” Jason adds.¬†And boy, was high school awkward. But Nicky tracks him down to tell him, “Remembering everything doesn’t mean you know everything.” Gosh, you’re such a know-it-all, Bourne!


“I know where you live. That’s all I need to know.”


A CIA agent says they’ve been hacked, and that it “could be worse than Snowden.” Worse than Snowden? Wow, the critical reviews of this movie are already hitting hard (and early, considering Snowden hasn’t come out yet). They recognize Nicky from camera footage, but they’re more alarmed to discover their least favorite rogue asset with her. “Why would he come back now?” Director Dewey asks. Probably to keep Hawkeye from taking over the franchise.


Right now he’s probably missing Harrison Ford. That guy was a lot less trouble.


Riot police swarm a demonstration at the Greek Parliament building, but the main attraction isn’t the real world politics and economic crises and injustices we deal with today; it’s the beat-down Bourne gives the government agents coming after them with guns and what appears to be a rocket launcher. And once again, America has made it all about us.


Because nothing says ‘Murica like firing a sniper rifle into a crowd of protestors.


“He’s seen things,” says Heather. “He knows things.” So has pretty much every other person on the planet. You’ll need to be more specific. “What if he’s not coming for us? What if it’s something else?” she goes on. Then it really won’t matter, because pretty much everyone around Jason Bourne gets wrecked. Jason does his trademark disappear-behind-a-moving-car trick, proving once again that he is magic.


“I’ve looked up his web history. So much My Little Pony.”


“I volunteered because of a lie,” Jason says while the Asset hunts him down and knocks him off rooftops. I was told there would be cake and grief counseling! And he needs it, since he calls up strangers and says he needs to talk. Director Dewey reads the stats off Bourne’s trading card: “32 kills.” He goes on to say, “People are safer because of what you did.” Well, except for the dead people, and that guy you beat up with a chair, and everyone in that casino you just drove through, and all the cops chasing you, and everyone in traffic around you who are getting plowed through. Actually, this is about the least safe world I can imagine.


“I live dangerously. As a result, everyone around me lives dangerously as well.”


“You’re never gonna find any peace,” Director Dewey tells Bourne as the trailer ends. “Not until you admit to yourself who you really are.” And who he is is the guy who can knock out a seasoned fighter with one punch. I hope we’re not supposed to be concerned for his safety at any point, because I’m pretty sure he can survive any situation. Like, he’s more likely to survive a nuclear blast than Harrison Ford, with or without a refrigerator.


Good thing he brought bandages for the radiation burns.


So based on the trailer, do I recommend the movie? Yes, yes I do. Matt Damon and Paul Greengrass have done great things with this character and franchise, and from the looks of this trailer, they’re bringing back the action and character depth that made the other films so great. Of course, there’s always the possibility that they’re running low on ideas or retreading old ground, but every franchise runs that risk, and without evidence of such, I’m on board.

Plus I get a hefty dose of paranoia, because, you know, I didn’t already distrust my government enough.


Jason Bourne is owned by Universal Studios.


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